1. Surrounding yourself with the types of coworkers, friends, and family that stimulate “youre feeling” inspired, supported, challenged, cared about, and loved.
2. Eventually reaching a point where you are comfy with asking for what you want( when you know you deserve it ).
3. Figuring out how to love your alone time, and how to savor the moments you get to spend on your own- by developing some pastimes, collecting some good book, and understanding that it is okay( and healthy) to not be with other people 24/7.
4. Building peace with someone who hurt you at some point in your life- even if’ stimulating peace’ only means you’ve internally forgiven them and have let go of your rage without ever even directly contacting them.
5. And also making peace in some manner with people you’ve hurt in the past, whether that’s by directly contacting them and apologizing, or by set some good karma back out into the world while thinking of them.
6. Traveling on your own, and learn how to love it.
7. Building an effort every single day to become a better listener in all of your conversations.
8. Learning to say’ no’ when it is required to- when you already have too much on your plate at work, when you’re depleted and need to let your body rest instead of going out, when you’re invited on some kind of trip that you simply can’t afford right now.
9. And learning to not feel bad if you say’ no’ when you need to say’ no.’
10. Becoming the kind of person who immediately approaches a friend or coworker when they’ve done something to upset you, rather than resorting to passive aggression or unnecessary gossip.
11. Finding a job that attains “youre feeling” fulfilled but also challenged, even if it’s stressful sometimes.
12. Or being brave enough to leave a job and pursue something else when you find yourself feeling stifled, stuck, passionless, or mistreated.
13. Understanding your own fear, and the fact that it’s not about not having dread- it’s about doing things and trying things anyway, despite how afraid or intimidated you feel.
14. Educating yourself as much as you can in order to further explore your own political faiths and to stay up-to-date on the things happening in your country and around the world.
15. And, rather than simply speaking about politics and current issues, actively seeking out things you can do- volunteering for an organization, calling your representatives about issues you care about, attending peaceful rallies and events, etc.
16. Teaching yourself to do your own taxes, or to replace your windshield wiper fluid, or to sew a couple buttons back onto your favorite shirt. Basically, figuring out how to do the things that you always used to rely on other people for.
17. Learning how to handle your money responsibly- how to pay all of your bills on time every month, figuring out how to save a little bit of fund every month no matter how small the amount, etc.
18. But also reaching a level of fiscal maturity where you aren’t afraid to spend a little extra every once in a while on something you really want or truly deserve, without worrying that your spending propensities will spiral out of control just from making one luxurious purchase.
19. Walking away from a relationship that only involved effort on your part, or from a friend who only contributed negatively to your life because of their toxic behavior.
20. Being at a point where you finally have started taking care of tedious things on your own, without your mothers constantly reminding you- get yearly physicals, constructing sure you get your oil altered, scheduling dentist checkups.
21. Learning how to cook meals for yourself, even if your skill level is the most basic skill level possible.
22. Eventually doing something you’ve always wanted to do but initially avoided out of fear- scuba diving, voice lessons, exploring your spirituality. And finding that, even if it was difficult, it also brought you a level of happiness and thrill that you hadn’t felt in a long time.
23. Figuring out how to handle your resentment of others, and understanding that when a friend or a coworker has a huge accomplishment or hittings a big life milestone, it’s okay to feel happy for them but to also feel a little envious and panicked at the same time.
24. Furnishing your apartment all on your own, without breach your bank account.
25. And being able to look around and know that, regardless of how nice or how worn-down something is, every single piece of furniture is yours .
26. Moving to a new city by yourself.
27. Or just moving into a new apartment by yourself- one that’s totally your own , no roommates , no mothers, only you.
28. Learning when to ask for permission and when to just ask for forgiveness.
29. Reaching a mindset where you eventually know how to just take a compliment and say’ thank you’ instead of feeling the pressure to instantly start berating yourself.
30. Learning how to be more comfortable with telling people exactly how you feel.
31. Opening up a 401 K, or even simply building the step of understanding what the hell a 401 K is.
32. Doing something selfless for someone else and truly feeling so much happier by being selfless than you would by getting your own way.
33. Making a big purchase entirely on your own- whether that’s buying a house or finally only buying a nice mattress because you really need one.
34. Inducing a sincere effort to stop judging the people around you, even if you can never do this perfectly.
35. And putting more of an effort into understanding your own subconscious issues and insecurities, so that you’re not projecting your self-esteem issues onto others by judging them in order to feel better about yourself for five minutes.
36. Becoming a person who says’ thank you’ all the time, even for the smallest things.
37. And becoming the kind of person who attains other people feel better simply from being around you- through conscious listening, asking questions, devoting genuine compliments, constructing eye contact, etc.
38. Putting more energy towards taking care of yourself.
39. And learning that taking care of yourself entails more than just trying to eat healthy and get exert. It’s also about drinking less and walking whenever you can and taking the stairs and surrounding yourself with good people and get a decent amount of sleep and taking care of your intellect as much as you take care of your body.
40. Figuring out how to be kinder to yourself and more accepting of your own body image, even if it’s still a struggle every day.
41. And also reaching a point where you understand that you’re always going to be insecure about something related to your physical appearance- but that you have to keep on living and growing and doing things, in spite of your insecurities.
42. Teaching yourself how to live more in the present, instead of worrying about the future or obsessing over the past.
43. Asking for help when you need it, whether that’s help with your career or with an emotional issue or with your own mental wellness.
44. Becoming someone who is always learning, whether that’s in school or through a recreational class or by watching the news or reading more or getting advice from people you look up to.
45. Waking up every day and always remembering to be happy that you’re surviving, that you’re breathing, that you’re very much here.
Read more: thoughtcatalog.com