How To Tactfully Say No To Your Friend’s Destination Wedding* Betches

Your BFF is getting married, which, like, mazel. However, she’s decided that hosting her bridal out of the country/ on an island/ seven nations away is the best alternative for some f* cking reason. It’s everyone’s worst nightmare: she’s having a destination wedding.

Destination bridals may seem like an amazing option for her and her S.O ., but for you, a betch on a budget, the whole notion of buying airliner tickets( or driving 10+ hours to get somewhere ), paying for a hotel, potentially buying a bridesmaid’s( or expensive guest) dress, and just generally hurling fund into a flaming garbage can for a weekend doesn’t seem like the wisest investment.

If you’re trying to get out of the whole thing, here are a few ways to tactfully do so 😛 TAGEND

1. Be Honest

Maybe you’re saving up for a home, or an adoption( dog or infant, doesn’t matter ), or already went to seven bridals this year. Don’t feel obligated to over-explain your reasons, but tell your friend that while you love her and will, of course, send a gift, it merely isn’t in your budget to attend a destination bridal. Anyone getting married in a destination that requires travel will( and should) understand that it’s a huge expenditure for people, so being upfront and honest about budgeting isn’t really something they should argue with you about. And, if they do, f* ck em.

2. Tell Them Right Away

Don’t wait until two weeks before to tell the bride you’re not coming. If you receive an invited to a destination wedding and you know in your heart that there’s only a 20 percent chance you’ll attend, then tell the bride that. Waiting until the last minute will get her hopes up that she’ll see you AND she’ll need to add you to seating arrangements, head counts for liquor, etc. Be polite and send your regards.

3. Send A Gift

This kind of goes without saying, but if you aren’t scheming on going to the destination bridal of the century, send a really nice gift, either from the happy couple’s registry OR for their stay at the said destination. A couples’ massage, candlelit dinner, or scuba diving escapade could be amazing for the newlyweds. It won’t necessarily make up for you not being there, but it will communicate that you aren’t being a total jerk.

4. Don’t Make Excuses

If the reason you aren’t coming is money, then say it’s fund. Don’t be all,” Oh, we aren’t going to your marriage because we’re saving for an in-ground pool and also we don’t consider Costa Rica safe because Overlord Trump said so .” Stick to your main( and honest) answer. The second you start throwing out other issues, you make it seem like you wouldn’t come regardless of the situation.

5. Offer To Help With Other Festivities

If the bride( or bridegroom) is a close friend and was expecting you to be in the bridal, offer to help with other pieces of the whole affair. For example, if the bride was counting on you being a bridesmaid and your crippling student indebtednes simply won’t allow for a trip to the Amalfi Coast for the bridal, offer to help with the bridal shower or bachelorette party. Sure, it isn’t the big day, but it’s a kind gesture that says” I still care about and love you as my friend even though you’re a dope for are married overseas .”

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